Thursday, January 7, 2010

A calling from God or a dream?

My older brother and I are alike in that, when my parents said no, we obeyed. (Note the past tense, and I didn't say neither of wouldn't whine) As my brother reached his late teen years, there were things he really wanted to do, like go on mission trips with the church and apply to certain colleges. My parents weren't exactly thrilled about some of these ideas, but my brother felt so strongly that that was what he wanted to do that he would say, "It's what God's calling me to do."

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that he used God as an excuse to get his way. But, I was 12 at the time and my big brother was my hero. I thought of just how cool it would be to have a calling from God! One year later, he's off to another school. God's calling him to be a pre-seminary student at the same school where his girlfriend is attending.

Let's skip ahead a few years.

I fall in love with police work. Everything from crime scenes and police scanners, to police ride alongs and traffic laws. On my free time, I find myself reading books on police work and law enforcement (fiction and non-fiction). In 5 months, I have to call the police 3 times, and was surprised at how well I handled myself each time. (Or, rather, how God allowed me to handle myself) I write a research paper on women in law enforcement, titled "Pink Bullets", and even deliver a 5-10 minute speech on it.

So, if I feel so strongly about this, it must be God's plan for me...right?

There's only one problem. God did not grant me the strongest of digestive systems. My list of allergies and food intolerances is as long as the 7th Harry Potter book: lactose, raspberries, thyme, fresh corn, popcorn, the list goes on.... I can only eat raw foods (oranges, carrots, apples, etc) and nuts in the afternoon. If I step out of line, I know I'll be sick sooner or later.

I've spent the last week, curled up in front of my computer, and most of yesterday in bed. My stomach does not like me.

Now you see that the dilemma is not so much me in law enforcement, but my digestive system in law enforcement.

So what? Teddy Roosevelt was a bad asthmatic, and spent many days in bed, but he still fought in a war, surviving dusty battles.

To be quite realistic, there are battles that go on every day in every town in the United States. Since the downfall of the economy, many people have become desperate, thus resulting in more battles and a gruesome amount of fallen officers. If an officer calls for backup, the last thing he or she wants to hear is, "I'll be there in 10 minutes. I have to go to McDonalds and take a 10-200."

So. Yeah. Is this what God's calling me to do? Maybe yes, maybe no. One thing is very apparent to me, and that's not now. But God isn't some Magic 8 ball. "Yeah, sure kid. Do whatever you want. Yes, no, maybe--I don't know."

The only thing I can do right now is drink as much 7UP to my stomach's content, and trust that God has something planned for me. It's not a secret--but I don't have to be filled in on every detail, as preacher Matt Chandler once said.

But for now, I am about to start my second semester in culinary school, even though I really, really, like, really don't want to go back. I had more than a few stupid classes last semester, with only one teacher that I liked. Sitting in a smelly, plastic chair for 3 hours at a time is not my strong point. The food is great, though.

Oh--remember my goal for this winter break? My original goal was to finish it before January 1st and I did. That's right. I finished the first draft of my novel on December 31, 2009, at 8:04 pm. It's 131,150 words long, 244 pages (unformated, Times New Roman, font size 12), and will weigh approximately 40 pounds after it's printed. (Well...maybe it'll weigh a little less)

So my job for when I'm supposed to be doing homework is now to revise my novel. I have a pretty good idea of what needs to be changed, and what needs to be edited the most. I also have a ton of supplies coming in the mail to make soy candles. Goodwill had a million adorable little trinkets that would make adorable little candle holders, so frequently visit my Etsy shop for the new arrivals.

This afternoon, I hope to put more things in my shop, clean my room, possibly take a look at my novel, and build my own army on Sims 3.

...While sipping 7UP, SmartWater, and maybe some chamomile tea.

Recipes will commence soon. I gotta pasta machine from Santa and can't wait to try it out. I've already decided that we're having pink pasta for Valentine's Day. Can you believe that's only a little over a month away?


  1. Observations:

    1) That you want what God wants for you is awesome. You're far more spiritually mature than I was at your age, and that makes me "ro" happy.

    2) I'm sorry for the tummy trouble genetics I passed on to you :(

    3) So you don't like school but you still like cooking. That makes you.....normal!

    4) As we've been learning the past several years, sometimes God makes you wait. But His plan is worth waiting for.

    Much love from yo mama ;)

  2. Thank ya, momma ;) A lot of time I think I write entries like these to understand and get it straight in my head that what God wants for me is the best. I only wish I could use proper logic like that on a daily basis! Considering the fact that I don't exactly read my Bible on a daily basis either, thank you (and Dad) for teaching me that (even if I don't always listen). :)Love you, and thank you for commenting!