So I duct-taped it.
It still wiggled. So I duct-taped the seat to the legs.
But, of course, duct tape just looked so ghetto, so I went into my closet and found a frilly $5 shirt that I set aside for crafting. Having only worn the shirt twice, I had no problems cutting off the collar and frills. I used the middle and streeeetched it around the legs.
And, to my very luck, I found an almost identical shirt in my Goodwill pile. I cut a straight line across the underarms. 
I turned it inside out and loosely stitched along the cut, turned it back out, and pulled it over the back of the chair.
The next part was tricky: I took a fabric napkin, made out of very heavy material, and stitched it directly to the middle of a 13"x 13" pillow. Then, I stitched a pearly white vintage button to the middle, added blue lace, and nail/duct-taped the cushion to the seat of the chair. For the last step, I tacked lace around the middle of the chair and around the back for color contrast. The "skirt" of the chair is just pulled down, not taped or nailed, to make for easy fixing later on (which is quite possible, as the chair didn't respond well to the nailing procedure)This took me all of 2-1/2 hours. I listened to Lady Gaga, OkGo, Basshunter, and then finally settled on the History Channel's "The Revolution."
Upon hearing the nailing, Mom thought I just decided to demolish my chair. Instead, I ended up with this:
I am quite pleased, however, I am still in need of a desk chair: this is a little girl sized chair.
Perhaps a visit to IKEA is in my near future? ;)
(Inspiration and the ideas for renovation go to http://LivingWithLindsey.com and http://RaechelMyers.blogspot.com)
