Saturday, April 10, 2010

What's up, buttercup?

In the past, like, 2 months that I haven't blogged, I swear I haven't changed. How do I convince you of that?
  1. Psych is still my favorite TV show.
  2. Salsa con queso still remains my favorite entree.
  3. Rummaging the fridge is still my favorite hobby.
Anyway, lately I have been cooking...

...and baking...

...a lot.

At home, I've made:
  • 2 loaves of Banana/Zucchini/Chocolate-chip bread
  • 24 vegan banana/walnut muffins
  • 20 of Martha Stewart's Chick Cakes
  • Martha Stewart's drop cookies
  • an 11"x16" yellow butter cake (also Martha Stewart--think I'm getting use out of that cookbook I bought?) with chocolate buttercream frosting
  • baked & breaded tarragon chicken (4 supreme cuts)
  • a large bowl of mashed potatoes to go with it
  • several bowls of carrots, sliced julienne (or something like julienne)
  • deviled eggs with dijon

At school: I've made:
  • ceviche, which I wigged out and didn't eat
  • Italian Beef soup
  • 2 pitchers of fresh lemonade
  • deviled eggs with broccoli and paprika
  • stuffed mushrooms
  • sliced carrots with baked gingersnap stuffing
I've decided Italian cooking is the most fun, tastiest, and most likely to give me a heartburn. Asian cooking is a new area for me, and I've had so much fun discovering new ingredients (rice wine vinegar, fish sauce, ginger and garlic combo) and how "Asian" something can look with diagonal cuts.

I've also learned that I'm quite allergic to wasabi. (That's totally okay with me, though, as I don't intend on tasting that again. However, after I tried a seemingly small but outrageously HOT bit of wasabi, my left arm sprouted tiny red dots...that was not cool.)

I've also missed a LOT of classes because my digestive system decided it didn't like me anymore. It's okay, we broke up. It started at the end of February, and my mom took me to a doctor, who ordered a CT scan for me. Then...they had me drink some HIDEOUS 18oz drink.

Dad forced me to drink it. It was like I was Dumbledore and he was Harry Potter. No joke. I cried.

And the scan went great. They gave me an XL cup of red Koolaid with "medicine" mixed in and I had nooo problem drinking that, especially after having not eaten or drinken drinked drank for 4 hours before that. (How did I get through THAT? Duh. I took a 2.5 hour nap, got dressed, and left for the hospital)

I will say that having a IV flushing cold liquid through my veins in the strangest sensation I've ever experienced.

So THEN, the doctor put me on a low-dose medication which made me go CRAZY for the next, oh, 5 weeks. I couldn't write a word of fiction, and couldn't think straight. I feared the people in white coats would finally come and take me away.

Actually, the tides have changed. I am now the mean person in the kitchen. Either that, or people in the kitchens are becoming more dumb.

Yesterday, I was sort of training a newbie culinary student. I had to walk him through making a parfait. I told him to cut up the banana. I don't think he even finished peeling it before asking, "Do you want me to save the peel?"

Then, I told him to whisk an egg yolk until it looked like lemon meringue. He began to stir it...very....slowly. "Whisk it. Fast," I said. He began a steady stir. "Faster." Medium stir. Then I shouted something like, "Beat the LIVING DAYLIGHTS out of it, Dan!" Except I didn't say living daylights. I said crap.

He was confused. I think he thought I was hazing him by giving him carpal tunnel syndrome. After that, I forgot that the chef said to "fold in" the yogurt and I had him whisk it in, which totally broke the emulsion. I told him to skip the topping, to wash the blueberries, mix in the banana slices, put the fruit in the martini glass, and sprinkle granola on top.

The chef is yelling at everyone to bring their stuff over and come over for tasting and final lecture. Dan asks me what he should do with the martini glass. I told him to put it on the tasting table. I don't think he quite believed me.

When the chef held up the martini glass, she asked what the liquid was in the bottom of the glass. "Water," I said. "Water?" she asked. "What's water doing in the glass?" I shrugged. "I don't know."

I guess it was leftover from when Dan washed the fruit. But he had to do something. My partner was working on soy pasta with veggie sauce and tofurkey. I had 20 minutes to squeeze a dozen+ lemons with a small, non-mechanical juicer to make (what turned out to be) 2 pitchers of fresh lemonade. I honestly think Dan didn't believe me when I told him he was going to have to make the parfait.

When I put the 2 pitchers of lemonade on the tasting table, I was embarrassed because I thought it was too much. Ironically, by the end of class, only 2 inches was left in one of the pitchers. That's with 14 people and only 1 oz cups. Needless to say, I was very pleased!

Also, one of the second years came in and I asked him if he wouldn't mind tasting the lemonade to tell me if it needed more sugar or not. He very gladly took it, and in return gave me and my partner each a 1 oz cup of chocolate ganache.

Not all of the second-years are that pleasant. When I had to share the same aisle (a row with 4 sets of stoves) with one of them, he got annoyed that I was invading his space. He told his friends he should come over and beat me up. I said something along the lines of, "Go ahead. I have a spatula. I could take you on." (Needless to say, he was not expecting me to say that.)

Having 2 brothers does have it's advantages.

God it very good to me,

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